RESPECT: The Highway way to getting the best out of your Husband /Partner

If you were asked- What is the one thing men want more than " Love" in a relationship or marriage . What would your answer be? Sex right? Wrong.

There's a general assumption that sex is the ultimate for a man in a relationship/marriage and this is one of the many assumptions causing cracks the walls of our relationships today.

One of the many causes of conflict in relationships today is a lack of understanding of our partners and their needs. A lot of people think relationship skills are like a switch button you can flip on automatically once you're involved with someone. It doesn't work that way.

When it comes to the man in your life, understanding him and his needs is key to enjoying a blissful relationship. 

So, why is respect so important to your husband and how can it make your relationship / marriage any better.

Beyond the confident exterior of every man is a struggle with some level of inadequacies. A man is often measured by their abilities and as such they are constantly struggling with 

• whether they are doing well enough, 
• are they providing like they should, 
• are they being a good father and husband, 
• are they living up to expectations and many other self evaluating questions.

The ordinary world tells us that respect is reciprocal and it should be earned and all that. While that could be true in certain situations, it doesn't work in the marriage set up. Just as we as women expect our husbands to love us "unconditionally, men need to be respected whether they deserve it or not; whether they have succeeded or not.

Since marriage is an institution established by God, we cannot but reference what God says. Ephesians 5:33 says 

" So I say again, each man must LOVE his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must RESPECT her husband " (NLT)

 The bible did not ask wives to love their husbands and husbands to respect their wives because God understand what the primary need of each person is. He is the one who has created both male and female and he has the best understanding of who we are.

When a man is respected, especially by his wife/woman, it gives him the the confidence he needs to conquer the rest of the world. Your husband needs your respect the same way you need his love.

Ever wondered why your husband is always so angry @ you ( even when you can figure out what you've done wrong?)

Or why he is so withdrawn or evasive when it comes to you or your relationship?

When a man feels disrespected it strips him of the remaining piece of protective layer he has.

It's affirms his fears of inadequacy and he gets the feeling that nothing he does for you can ever be good enough.

Just like a woman tends to cry when she has been hurt emotionally, a man tends to be angry or withdraw when he has been disrespected.

I cannot stress this enough for all the wives, mothers and girlfriends out there; A Man husbands or boyfriend would rather feel unloved than disrespected.

So how can you show respect to that man in your life?

Let's continue tomorrow

Until then, start thinking of ways you can "consciously " show respect to your spouse/partner

Eyitemi The HomeBuilder

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